For anyone who is thinking of chastising me for using the wrong pronoun, there’s a good reason. He also works with me and he wasn’t “out” to the workmates yet. I kept with he/him so I wouldn’t accidentally out him. It also doesn’t help that in my mind he is still male. 24 years of habit is going to be a hard thing to break. I don’t think about the pronouns when I speak about either of my children. They were both born male. My dog is male. My cat is male. Hell, I looked at the dog earlier and said “go find your brother to play with” before I even realized what I said. For clarity, from now on I will begin referring to her as she.
Back to the story, I went to the endocrinologist with her. I had a lot of questions that I wanted to ask, and she was nervous as hell, so I took the day off and scooted over to St. Louis with her. First thing I noticed when we finally found the office was how cool the waiting room was. Not the slightest bit clinical at all. It was funky and classy at the same time. I grooved our at the phrenology bust next to check in, then had to explain what phrenology was to the squid. The wait time was minimal and the staff was super friendly. We get called back and his doctor came waltzing in, introduced himself, then proceeded to hug both of us instead of shaking hands, which was honestly pretty damn cool. He spent a ton of time with us, and answered every question and concerns that we had. He wrote the scripts and BOOM hormone city!
This whole story is leading up to this point. Once the hormones started, she and I started telling the people outside the family. Everyone so far has actually surprised me. Most of the people in the town where we work are fairly conservative so I expected a little more derision. Overall, they have been pretty accepting, and a few had to be told what transitioning meant. After explaining the reply was a resounding cool good for him. It eased my mind that, while they may not agree with the treatment, they were also not going to be dicks about it either. There was only one who was assholey about it, but there’s always one, isn’t there?
His reaction was “you know I love him, but I just can’t accept that lifestyle”. I pointed out that it wasn’t a lifestyle, it’s kind of the way she was born. Basically it boils down to the questions I have for the people who don’t accept this “lifestyle”.
1.You think gender dysphoria is a mental illness.
If it is a mental illness, you need to consider that the patient is not just handed out hormones. You have to be seeing a counselor specializing in dysphoria. My kid’s psychiatrist recommended she seek counseling and eventual hormone therapy. If the psychiatrist, whose whole job is treating mental health, recommended hormones to put her on an even keel, why are you so against it? Hormone therapy is one of the treatments for dysphoria. By your definition, my kid is mentally ill. Are you suggesting we don’t seek treatment for what YOU have classified as an illness?
2. You don’t think people should alter the body god gave them.
Fair enough, I can see why you think that. Unfortunately people alter their bodies all of the time. Baby born with a hole in the heart? Too bad, fixing it would be altering the baby’s body. Got a tattoo to honor the memory of a close family member or friend? Uh oh, you altered your body! Oh my, I’m sorry to hear about your prostate cancer. You better go get that looked at. What was that? Are you saying hormone therapy can help you? That’s a shame because, you see, that estrogen the doctors want to use can alter the physique of you body. Why, you can even grow boobs! Do you see where I’m going with this? We alter our bodies every single day. Before you argue “Not all people alter their bodies”, I will take it to the ridiculous scale and suggest that even taking a drink of water is an alteration. Your body dehydrates itself while you just exist, it’s a natural thing that happens without any help from you. Drinking water alters your body by pulling it out of dehydration mode. Are you going to stop drinking water?
3. You think trans people are really just doing this because they are huge perverts and want to peep at the women in the ladies room!
I....honestly don’t have a reply to this. Really. I have heard this, a lot, and every single time it has left me speechless and extremely uncomfortable. I get speechless because it is so batshittingly stupid to think this. I get extremely uncomfortable because people tend to think of what THEY would do In a situation when debating something. That means I am standing in front of a person who would happily peep on people peeing if they were given half a chance. Seriously, if you are one who thinks this, just what in the everliving fuck do YOU do in the bathroom that leads you to assume something ass backwards like this? Do you understand how creepy your line of thinking is?
Outside of a spouse, your child, your siblings, and your parents, someone being transgender does not affect you at all. Your obsession with the genitalia of strangers is as unsettling as the “does the carpet match the drapes” line of thought was years ago.
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