Changing mindsets

Things have been a little surreal lately. My youngest son (24) is going to transition to a woman.  Which I’m okay with. He’s been battling depression and self harm for 10 years. It’s been a long and scary journey. For him and myself. I thought that by the teen years I would be past the checking to make sure the kid is alive in the middle of the night, but apparently that’s still a thing. He started taking meds for depression about 6 years ago. He’s been doing much better. About a year ago, he started to go to counseling on top of the psychiatrist visits. I had no idea his counselor specializes in gender. In November he came out to me that he’s trans. He started hormones last week.
For anyone who is thinking of chastising me for using the wrong pronoun, there’s a good reason. He also works with me and he wasn’t “out” to the workmates yet. I kept with he/him so I wouldn’t accidentally out him. It also doesn’t help that in my mind he is still male. 24 years of habit is going to be a hard thing to break. I don’t think about the pronouns when I speak about either of my children. They were both born male. My dog is male. My cat is male. Hell, I looked at the dog earlier and said “go find your brother to play with” before I even realized what I said. For clarity, from now on I will begin referring to her as she.
Back to the story, I went to the endocrinologist with her. I had a lot of questions that I wanted to ask, and she was nervous as hell, so I took the day off and scooted over to St. Louis with her. First thing I noticed when we finally found the office was how cool the waiting room was. Not the slightest bit clinical at all. It was funky and classy at the same time. I grooved our at the phrenology bust next to check in, then had to explain what phrenology was to the squid. The wait time was minimal and the staff was super friendly. We get called back and his doctor came waltzing in, introduced himself, then proceeded to hug both of us instead of shaking hands, which was honestly pretty damn cool. He spent a ton of time with us, and answered every question and concerns that we had. He wrote the scripts and BOOM hormone city!
This whole story is leading up to this point. Once the hormones started, she and I started telling the people outside the family. Everyone so far has actually surprised me. Most of the people in the town where we work are fairly conservative so I expected a little more derision. Overall, they have been pretty accepting, and a few had to be told what transitioning meant. After explaining the reply was a resounding cool good for him. It eased my mind that, while they may not agree with the treatment, they were also not going to be dicks about it either. There was only one who was assholey about it, but there’s always one, isn’t there?
His reaction was “you know I love him, but I just can’t accept that lifestyle”. I pointed out that it wasn’t a lifestyle, it’s kind of the way she was born. Basically it boils down to the questions I have for the people who don’t accept this “lifestyle”.
1.You think gender dysphoria is a mental illness.
If it is a mental illness, you need to consider that the patient is not just handed out hormones. You have to be seeing a counselor specializing in dysphoria. My kid’s psychiatrist recommended she seek counseling and eventual hormone therapy. If the psychiatrist, whose whole job is treating mental health, recommended hormones to put her on an even keel, why are you so against it? Hormone therapy is one of the treatments for dysphoria. By your definition, my kid is mentally ill. Are you suggesting we don’t seek treatment for what YOU have classified as an illness?
2. You don’t think people should alter the body god gave them. 
Fair enough, I can see why you think that. Unfortunately people alter their bodies all of the time. Baby born with a hole in the heart? Too bad, fixing it would be altering the baby’s body. Got a tattoo to honor the memory of a close family member or friend? Uh oh, you altered your body! Oh my, I’m sorry to hear about your prostate cancer. You better go get that looked at. What was that? Are you saying hormone therapy can help you? That’s a shame because, you see, that estrogen the doctors want to use can alter the physique of you body. Why, you can even grow boobs! Do you see where I’m going with this? We alter our bodies every single day. Before you argue “Not all people alter their bodies”, I will take it to the ridiculous scale and suggest that even taking a drink of water is an alteration. Your body dehydrates itself while you just exist, it’s a natural thing that happens without any help from you. Drinking water alters your body by pulling it out of dehydration mode. Are you going to stop drinking water? 

3. You think trans people are really just doing this because they are huge perverts and want to peep at the women in the ladies room! 

I....honestly don’t have a reply to this. Really. I have heard this, a lot, and every single time it has left me speechless and extremely uncomfortable. I get speechless because it is so batshittingly stupid to think this. I get extremely uncomfortable because people tend to think of what THEY would do In a situation when debating something. That means I am standing in front of a person who would happily peep on people peeing if they were given half a chance. Seriously, if you are one who thinks this, just what in the everliving fuck do YOU do in the bathroom that leads you to assume something ass backwards like this? Do you understand how creepy your line of thinking is? 

Outside of a spouse, your child, your siblings, and your parents, someone being transgender does not affect you at all. Your obsession with the genitalia of strangers is as unsettling as the “does the carpet match the drapes” line of thought was years ago. 

Good Lord

Every time I forget that the world is full of crazy people, I fuck up and open Twitter. The vitriol that flows on that site is amazing. It’s an endless stream of whining, bitching, and name calling. Facebook really isn’t any better. YouTube is generally awful. You know what? I’m all for freedom of speech and expression. I really am. I just wish the people expressing would actually have something to say.
Half of my feeds are people shouting “fake news!!”, and two seconds later the same people are sharing fake news stories. If you try to refute with actual facts, you are branded a libtard, snowflake, puck whatever insult of the week. God forbid if you try to cite BBC when refuting the crap they’ve posted from Brietbart or Occupy Democrats. Woe to the person who tries to use Wikipedia in an argument.
For the record, yes, I know Wikipedia can be edited by anyone. That’s a fact. Go right on ahead and try to edit something to lie. See how long that shit will stay up. There’s a group of super dedicated people who really have nothing better to do than to correct Wikipedia. I love those people. Seriously. They’ve argued really mundane arguments for years, that’s how dedicated they are. Go to Wikipedia, look up Guy Standing, and take a look at that cropped pic. It was originally a pic of dude sitting in a chair captioned “Guy Standing sitting”. They argued about that caption for MONTHS until someone just cropped it. My whole point is, Wikipedia is WAY more credible than The Daily Mail. Wikipedia is powered by super nerds.
Oh, and you conspiracy fuckers? What the hell is wrong with you? Like, you were amusing at one point. Sometimes you almost even made sense. Now you’re just crazy. Here’s an experiment. Look at your nearest coworker and tell them that you like to have sex with butterflies and swear them to secrecy. I can tell you that at least ten people will know that within an hour. But yeah, there’s a government plot somewhere that has at least 30 people involved, and yet Bob down the street is the only one who knows about it? Oh, or the theories that the “mainstream media doesn’t want you to know about!” . Really? Have you MET the media? They want to tell everybody everything. That’s their job. You don’t get to be a journalist by keeping fucking secrets.
I Don’t even know where I was going with this rant. Oh. Yeah. Look, I love the internet. I met my other half here back when chat rooms and MSN chats were all the rage. I’ve been lurking since aol. All the books I read I’ve downloaded. The games I play, downloaded. Music? Downloaded. Tv? Streamed. So it’s with heavy heart that I announce that maybe it’s time the internet goes away. What was wondrous and a great source of information and amusement is now awful. We have more information at our fingertips than we have ever had throughout the ages. It’s apparently turned us into a bunch of self centered fucking morons. Turn off the internet. Remove all warning labels. Maybe in 100 years we’ll be ready to try it again.

Religion

Look, I’m going to just say it. Christians confuse the hell out of me. I would probably be confused by other religions if I knew more about them. Here’s my issue. You all read the same book, right? So I have Bob the Christian telling me that gay people are going to hell. Ok, fine. If the book you believe tells you that, whatever. But then John, who reads the same book and also is a Christian, tells me that nope, gay people are just fine with God. What? Oh, and then Steve over there, fucking Steve, who is also a Christian and has also read the same book, tells me that God isn’t ok with gays, but they aren’t automatically going to hell either. The whole thing makes my head hurt. Quite frankly, people who have tried to explain it just confuse me more and they end up really pissed off at me saying I’m being willfully obtuse.

It seems to me that the different flavors of Christianity seem to pick the things they like out and then just kind of ignore the rest. Know what? That’s perfectly fine. Believe whatever you want. If you think gay people are going to hell, you just go right ahead and believe that. Also, for the record, I have no problem with gay people. I’m just using gay as an example because that it the argument I hear the most. Anyway, you be you and believe whatever you want. 

That being said, stop trying to hold everyone else to your “moral” standards. You people can’t even get your morals straight from one flavor to the next. Sometimes I find it doubtful that some of you actually read that book from cover to cover. If you want to make me live by your “rule” book, then have it have actual rules. Instead, a lot of you “interpret” the Bible. So let me get this straight, you have a book written by man (quite a few different ones to boot), telling me a story that is yet again interpreted by man. Then you go to church and have yet another man tell you his version of events. 

I’m not religious. I do have a curious mind and am an avid reader, so I have read that book. It was a good story, once you got past the archaic writing. I came away thinking it was a sort of handbook to teach you to be a decent human being and how not to be a dick. The New Testament seemed to be more about acceptance and love than the fire and brimstone Old Testament. 

I’m not actually against Christianity. I know I’m coming off as so. I’m sure I’ve met quite a few wonderful Christians. I wouldn’t know for sure because a good portion of Christians sit quietly in the background doing things to help people and generally trying to just be good and devout and in line with the teachings. They don’t feel the need to blare it out to the world or to try to convert everyone they meet. They don’t feel obligated to impose their beliefs on non-believers. Wait for it...here’s the but....

I do have a problem with “Christians “. Those are the ones who use their religion to be an asshat. They use their religion to discriminate, and then whine and cry about their religious freedom when they get called on it. They’re the ones who want to keep people fleeing from violence and war in their country out of America due to the refugees having a different set of beliefs. For fucks sake, they’re the ones who declare that there’s a “War on Christmas” when people say happy holiday instead of merry Christmas. Sorry, but I will always say happy holidays. It’s more inclusive since the entire world aren’t all Christians. I don’t just assume that everyone default is Christian, and while that Jewish dude isn’t going to be offended if I say merry Christmas to him, I believe that happy holidays is a way to wish someone good will and health while also acknowledging that he may celebrate something different. 

Also, why are a lot of you scared of Muslims? Yes, there have been terror attacks from Muslims. There have also been terror attacks by Christians. Do y’all want to be judged on that Christian guy that shot up a family planning clinic? How about I judge you for the actions of Scott Roeder. Remember him? The guy that walked into a church and shot a doctor in the head? Ringing any bells? Really, if you do the research, you will find many more instances of Christian killing sprees than you will find Muslim terrorism in America. You really don’t need to worry about getting killed in a Muslim terror attack, you’re more likely to get killed by your neighbor. It’s kind of important to remember that every single religion has extremists. 

On a related note, there are a lot of stories in the Quran that resemble stories in the Bible. There are difference to the stories, but they are similar enough to make a comparison. Which leads me to ask how do you know that you’re version of the Bible is the “right” version? It seems to me if Jesus was born in the Middle East, and the stories settings are in the Middle East, then why is it you discount the Quran? Through the years, the Bible has been modified. There were books added and books left out. Yet you choose to believe that over a book that has its roots in the Middle East, the players were from the Middle East, and it’s still pretty much the original text.

Elections are here...yay?

Thank god. It's almost over. If I get one more damn candidate/computer/desperate person calling me trying to get me to vote a certain way, I shall scream. If I get one more goddamned phone call that starts with "If the election were held today, which (insert office here) would you vote for?", I will change my phone number. Oh wait, I already did that today. Take that, candidates!!!
I made the mistake of answering the phone last night. It was a woman telling me all about this wonderful candidate. He's all "hearts and flowers (sue me, I tuned her out) and he's big on women's rights!" You better believe I started listening then! I had a few questions.
me: "Wait, women's rights? Oh wow! Am I finally going to get the right to vote? Oh wait, I can already do that."
her: ...
me: "Oh wait! He's going to make it so I can enter the workforce and get a chance at equal pay? He wants to make it illegal to sexually harass me? I'll be able to wear pants in public without fear of being jailed?"
her: ...
me: "Seriously, I think the subject of women's rights has been covered like 50 years ago. Can we just term it basic human rights now?"
Honestly, I don't know why that term is a sore spot for me. There is something about it that just immediately pisses me off. Add one politician to the mixture and you have instant explosion.
I do have one political sign in my front yard. I live on a very busy road, and my house is right on the corner at the only stoplight on the road. So I guess it's prime political sign territory or something? Hell, I don't know. All I do know is that the county coroner rang my doorbell, introduced himself, then asked if he could put his sign up. Since I immediately decided that would be fucking awesome and hilarious all at the same time, I told him to go right on ahead. He looked a bit confused by my laughter, but he managed to gamely try to continue the conversation and make small talk. I finally had to confess to him that I had no plans whatsoever on voting for him, his opponent, or anyone else.
Many years ago I used to pay attention to the political world. I'd research candidates and look at how they've voted in the past, I'd look at their home lives...I was damn near stalkerish. I refused to just vote straight republican or straight democrat on a ticket, just because someone was affiliated with a certain party did not mean they weren't an asshat. I live in Illinois, believe me when I say I have seen my share of asshat politicians.
Then the breaking point hit. The election that did me in. After being told my entire life that my vote counts, a president loses the popular vote but still manages to stay in fucking office because he won the electoral vote. Wait. What? If my vote counts, then how the fuck did THAT happen?!?! After I sat and thought for a bit, I realized something. I honestly don't give a damn who my county coroner is. I don't care who the county clerk is. I don't care who is what judge where. The only reason I really voted was to have my say in the presidential election...and it turns out that they don't give a damn what I say.
Who I voted for in that election won't be mentioned. It doesn't really matter. The system is outdated and wrong. We don't need an electoral college anymore. The time for that is long past. Until the system is fixed you won't see me at the polls. I'm glad and grateful that I have the right to vote, but I also have a right NOT to vote.